Day Twelve: Deja Vu

If I imagine these 60 days as a clock, we are now at 12 minutes past the hour.

And today has been a really hard day.

I have really wanted to text him today and let him know I was thinking about him. I heard a song while I was driving down a familiar road and I remember taking a picture of the song and sending it to him at that exact point of that particular road.

I want to tell him I miss him, that I've been thinking about him and that I want to be his friend. But I know I really can't be his friend right now without expecting or wanting more to happen. There's nothing "of value" to tell him right now, so there's no point in texting him.

So he'll stay saved in my phone as a series of emojis, so his name doesn't pop up when I'm typing in someone else's name. I was dared to delete his number and the chat the other day - I don't feel ready.

Prompt 7: What are the qualities my future partner must possess?

Emotionally available, feels ready to meet someone and take the risk. Somebody who's all in. Somebody who can see the value in spending time with me. Has a job and is financially stable. Thoughtful, kind, generous. A gentleman. A full set of teeth. A driving license. Their own place.

Affirmations:

I deserve to be happy.

I am strong.

I am loved.