Day Nine: I think he's gone.

Okay, so don't judge me.

I have absolutely still been sharing my WhatsApp statuses and including him this weekend.

And he always watches.

Until he's not seen the one I'd posted at 1pm yesterday afternoon.

I think I've lost him.

It's ridiculous, how can I have lost someone who wasn't even mine? But this has hit me really hard today. Deeper digging to keep me on track.

I'd framed "60 days no contact" to my friends in a different way last night. I've never done this before - knowingly - so, for me, it's an experiment.

I have lots of "studies" where they have always come back. Even recently, the guy I dated at the beginning of my dating journey (who sent me into my one and only week long anxiety attack) has reached out, over a year later.

They always come back. But I need to know that, when he does, he's coming back for the right reasons.

Prompt 6: If I could pick up and leave right now, where would I go?

I'd go to Ireland. I have family over there and, whenever I head back, I always feel so grounded and centred. The weather is so rainy over here right now though, I'd probably opt for somewhere a bit sunnier.

Affirmations:

I can only control what I can control.

Whatever is meant for me won't pass me by.

I deserve to be chosen.